Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Did you ever know you were my hero? Wait, that's Bette Midler

Dear Whitney Houston,

I've always been a fan, but I'll be the first to admit that you kind of scared me on your husband's reality show. You see, experiencing the trainwreck of "Being Bobby Brown" was sort of like watching my drunk aunt bust a move to "The Thong Song" at my cousin's wedding reception last year. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry at your antics, Whitney. This past Saturday, however, I was driving and I had my 5 month old cousin in the backseat. She was obviously in a carseat (who said you can't learn anything from Britney, or as my mom likes to call her, Britney Spear) and is a total cutie, but unfortunately, baby is teething. The high pitched shrieks were killing me, Larry! I was thisclose to having a nervous breakdown on La Brea. Out of desperation, I turned up the volume on my stereo and heard the words, "Clock strikes upon the hour" - and then something magical happened. As the vocals got louder, the crying got softer. During those last minutes of the drive home, I forgot all about the "That's a hell to the no" Whitney and remembered the classy Whitney. The Whitney whose vocal stylings I used to imitate in front of my bathroom mirror in the fifth grade. I sure as hell want to dance with somebody, and that somebody is you, Whitney! So thank you. You truly are the greatest love of all. I'll leave you with a rousing rendition of one of your biggest hits. See you on tour!

Love,
Me

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