Filed Under: The Colleen Bramal Show

Now I'm a security threat!

So about once a week, something happens where I think to myself, "God I wish I had a camera crew documenting my life." About twice a week, something happens where I think to myself, "Thank God I don't have a camera crew documenting my life because I'd be FUCKED!" Well, this next story falls under the "I wish I had a camera crew documenting my life" category.

At this point, everyone reading my blog should know that I work for Tiger Beat. Another part of my job description here is that I get to go through each and every piece of mail that comes in. It's pretty entertaining at times, especially when we get letters from people who are clearly outside of our 8-16 age demographic. That includes Selina from Michigan, who just last week wrote to voice her concerns about Joey Lawrence's haircut. But that's a whole 'nother blog.

Recently, we ran a contest to win an autographed cell phone from the biggest celebrity that we feature in the mag. As a result, there's been six huge black trash bags filled with leftover contest entries sitting in my office for the past few weeks. They weren't very pleasing to look at, so when a band was stopping by last week I decided that it was about bloody time to make the garbage bags disappear for good by bringing them to the dumpsters outside.

However, after I enlisted our photo editor to help me lug the giant trash bags downstairs, I soon realized that no such dumpster existed. Being a rational decision-maker, I had the brilliant idea of disposing the bags next to the garbage can in the parking garage. End of story, right? Not so much.

The following morning, Nicole, my wonderful co-worker who agreed to help me with the garbage bags, entered our office and whispered, "Has parking called yet?"

This is what followed:

Me: Uh, What?

Nicole: When I tried to pull into the garage this morning, my card wouldn't work. The gate wouldn't go up and then the parking lot manager came out and started yelling at me because they had me on camera putting mysterious garbage bags by the trash can!

Me: (making a face that one makes when feeling the onset of diarhea in a very public place) What?

Nicole: I didn't know what to say, so I told them there was a miscommunication with my co-worker, Colleen. They're going to call you and talk to you. I just wanted to tip you off.

Me: FUCK!!!!!!!

************

Thankfully, my dad taught me to always be nice to everyone and I'm buddies with the parking people. All of them. So I take a deep breath and head downstairs.

Me: Good morning!

Leonardo: Hey, sweetie, what's up?

Me: Okay, two things. First, you know the garbage bags? Well, that was me.

Leonardo: That was you!?

Me: Yeah, uh, there was this huge miscommunication because a co-worker told me to put them in the bin, and I thought they meant a bin outside, but this morning I found out that it was a bin inside our office! (I know, it was all I could think of, okay?)

Leonardo: Oh, yeah, okay. See, because this is the CNN building, they're really tight with security. They saw these mysterious bags and didn't know what they were filled with, so we had to come in and watch the videotapes to find out. Then I saw your friend in them and said, "I know her!"

Me: Yeah, well, uh, my bad. It was my fault. So, sorry?

Leonardo: It's okay!

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Just another day in the life. If you ever watch CNN, and the ticker comes on that says "SECURITY THREAT IN PARKING GARAGE" - don't worry - it's probably just a ton of Tiger Beat contest entries.